Ellis

Tonight I had the unexpected pleasure of seeing Ellis play a small concert here in our city. Before a few days ago, I had never heard of her. There's some sample songs on her website if you want to take a listen.

Earlier in the evening, I went to dinner with a few friends and then they suggested we go see her performance. It was a small, intimate setting and I was utterly transfixed on the music from beginning to end. I wound up buying two of her CD's, both of which she signed for me.

Simply put, she was amazing... I can't believe she hasn't "made it" in a big way yet. Someone did tell me that she has been featured in Girlfriends magazine, but I don't remember seeing the article. Not only is she a sexy lesbian with a guitar, but she also had some of the most heartfelt song lyrics I've heard in a long time. If I had to describe her sound, I would say she is kind of a folksy Alanis Morissette.

I wonder if anyone of you have ever heard of her, or have seen her perform? If not, be sure to check the tour dates and see her if you can!

The question has been decided for me

I called to see what she might
like tomorrow night for a
dinner I planned on making for us

She responded by telling me
she doesn't want to come back home yet

Why did I set myself up to be crushed?

I guess the question has been
decided for me...

I feel so pathetic and sad.

Disregard previous post.

My Big Question

Here I stand at a crossroads

Feeling terrified
of making the wrong decision
My emotions still tumble and lurch
like rocks put in a dryer
Only not as rapidly now
seeming to merely prolong the pain
that manages to keep
creeping in sometime during
the night while I’m asleep

HER past words still
ring freshly in my ears
as if they’ve just been spoken
“Don’t settle for me”
“I believe there’s someone
else out there for you better
than me”
It sounds like an excuse
to NOT be “the one for me”
I’ve never felt
like I was settling
But maybe SHE is right
I do not know any more

Tomorrow is suppose to be
the day SHE possibly comes home
Holding my breath (but trying not to)
Looking at the sunshine
On the other side of the open door I have
yet to walk through
Knowing it could be
slammed at any moment

A friendly face turned to me
and asked, “Is it worth it?”
Impulsively a “yes” then only
uncertainty

It’s been almost 6 weeks
Since SHE walked out
I was left, “served divorce papers”
and cut off emotionally and
completely in one moment
At least a “divorce” between those
able to be legally married
is gradual
for US there isn’t that luxury

At times it has gotten easier
I can go more than a day
without calling HER
I can go an hour without
thinking about HER
I can go a moment without
remembering I’m sad

Maybe it’s better to forget
Trudge on through the pain
I don’t want to go backwards
There’s no saving
the old relationship
Not enough
“I’m sorry’s” to go around
It would have to be
a whole new relationship
with commitment
to building it from both sides

“Is it possible?”
I wonder aloud
before starting to cry
again -
still

I hear the White Stripes sing,
“Is this really love?”

Light

Taking things very s-l-o-w-l-y.....

Me and HER are (attempting) to talk things through.