After all...

After all is said
and
done
time
goes by
and you
are still the
"one"

that holds
me
back
from achieving
ME
each time...

...except this one.

The Patient Past

She appeared
as if from nowhere,
anywhere but there
or here.
No, I did not know her
or her me,
as unlikely as it seems.
Then - would have made
this - impossible.
Such a distant, patient past
waiting for us to be.
Knowing then
what we didn't
until now.

Then she appears
as I lift my head from sleep.
Anywhere but here seems likely.
No, she is there, still.
Or, is that me?
She wakes
and smiles in my direction
this melty, fuzzy, butterfly filled, perfection.
Such a sight to see that
waiting for it to happen
makes me believe
I want to fall asleep again
with anticipation.

Over Exposed

A light in the shadowy places begins to shine. So many are there, lurking, wanting it to burn out (me and themselves along with it).

I see the reflection of their gnashing teeth and sideways smiles in the mirror behind me (looking at them directly yields no such horrors). Instead of turning around (this time), I step to the side and offer them safe passage. Out of the darkness where they can finally be seen, exposed and set free.

A few come forward tentatively, easily explained. Others slink by and dodge my glance, hoping to go unnoticed. Then a hoard, a loud tumbling mass of arms and legs and angry cries, spill out into my view. Startled - I gasp - then hold my breath rather then smell their seething viciousness and contempt as they pass.

Just when it seems all is clear, I notice a few more cowering in the corner, barely visible. I pull on their subconscious tentacles that are attached somehow to me, but can't loosen the slimy, cold grip. I reach for the silver shears and begin cutting them away, one by one. Money goes loose, fear is set free, worry & anguish are released, the past is hacked off....

SHE is the last to appear, a sheep in wolf's clothing. I open my arms to give her a hug goodbye whisper in her ear and then watch as she disappears.

Ain't Love (a) Grand (illusion)?

The end of July/start of August 2009 brought about a flurry of unexpected events in my life. I could write a chronicle of everything that has taken place. However, I think I would rather cut to the chase....

Over the past 3 months or so, I have realized these important things:

1.) I am not ready to be in a committed relationship.
2.) It is what it is.
3.) Sometimes you read the writing on the wall and other times you are the author.
4.) Fat Tire is a truly delicious beer.
5.) I am balancing imperfectly on the tightrope of life.
6.) Try not to take yourself or anyone else too seriously.
7.) Wolves always end up shedding their sheep costumes.
8.) Honesty really is the "best policy" (a very revolutionary concept!).
9.) People living in glass houses rarely consider how clean their own windows are.
10.) Tomorrow is always a new day.

Keep in mind, these are in no particular order :)