Sunday, December 04, 2005

Everything Was About To Change

This photo was taken of me (c. 1996) on an unseasonably warm spring day. I was out walking in a huge park we have here in Oblivion, it's a day I vividly remember.

I was freshly out of a 2 year relationship with a high school sweetheart. That year, I was enjoying having turned 21 years old and reaching legal drinking age. Me and some friends would go out to the bars almost nightly and knew the drink specials of every place in town. I was renting a large, old house in our local historical district and working in a photo lab. I was just beginning to be honest with myself about my sexuality. I felt free and carefree... Little did i know, everything was about to change. This was about a month before I found out I was pregnant.

I never believed that I wanted to have any children. I use to say that if I ever got pregnant, I would have an abortion. I believed there were already enough children in the world that needed people to love them. I'd never been around too many kids and didn't even particularly care for them. My son came as a surprise. But, oddly, when the 3 home pregnancy tests confirmed that he was on the way, I never once questioned that I would keep the baby. It truly was the day that changed my life forever.

Looking back at this photo now knowing where my life was headed, makes me want to reach out to the girl in the photo and tell her that her world is about to be shaken. I also want to tell her that it's going to be alright.


scrappy rose said...

It's always strange to look back on photos and in retrospect realize what you didn't know then...

Toady Joe said...

Excellent insight. I'm sharing this with someone who needs similar TLC right now.

sjobs said...

It is strange how life and the way we live it can change in a moment. I cannot imagine how you felt when you took the first test.

The park looks wonderful as do you.

AKH said...

Isn't it funny how when we finally think that we've got everything figured out, we realize we don't know anything at all.

Great picture! I got the postcard Friday night. Thanks, it made my day. There's one coming to you very soon.

Blogzie said...

I adore this photo.

I hope you have this framed and hung somewhere in your home, it's really a classic.

You look so lovely and full of hope for your future.

No matter what else has taken place since then, you have your son.



I would be stalking you if I didn't have the wrong parts.

So sexy, so desirable.


Bent Fabric said...

Great pic!

sttropezbutler said...

The roads travelled.

I felt you hear and soul in this post.

Your son is a lucky child.


Trudy Booty Scooty said...

What a beautiful picture....and a beautiful post.

You are amazing.

she died said...

Hey Girl
Guess I thought I should leave a comment instead of just browsing through your personal phtographs. You know that I hope and pray that the happiness you deserve finds you soon. Take care and merry Christmas.
Kate said...

wow that is wild. photos are funny in that they capture that moment and we get stuck there even though we know the preceding moments to come

(can i say im so glad you kept your baby) :)