Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Awakening

I am awakening
from the slumber of desolation
that has been my life
I've rubbed the sleep from my eyes
and can see more clearly than ever

I feel like I have finally gathered enough strength
to begin turning the page
I see my hand reaching down to pick up the pen
and preparing to start writing a new chapter

The sweet sounds of music have returned to my ears
For so long I couldn't bear to listen
because every song was a reminder
Now, the notes and lyrics are like old friends
welcoming me back and telling me I've made
my way through the darkness
Offering me with open arms
a new soundtrack for my life

I've begun to pray again
with gratitude instead of pain
Thankful for these things
that not so long ago seemed apparent disasters
now coming to light as blessings in disguise

A return to self - a bit more each day
Glancing back at the hurt and anger
that has been shed
It looks thin and transparent
with only a hint of the powerful and
suffocating shape that it once held
Now lifeless and crumbling
unable to affect me any longer
I had forgotten who I was
and am starting to feel comfortable
in my new, shiny skin

Seeing I was truly not walking alone through
that thorny and wicked forest
Apparently guiding me silently along the course
through all of my darkest fears
A hand pulling me from the thicket upon which I'd stumbled
Picking me up and pushing me forward
when I decided I could go no further

The driving force of a divine plan that all along
required me to touch the white hot flame
which I thought was singeing my edges, blackening my skin
and starting to consume me in it's smoldering embrace
Simply my twisted perception of the world
as it appeared through the cracks of my own broken glasses

Suddenly I can see
as if my eyesight were restored by means
of some dusty roadside revival tent preacher
I watch the beads of sweat as they drip
from his forehead onto his lapel
before vaporizing into the storm clouds brewing above
In the brightness from the unexpected flash of lightening
I can see that the fire never actually burned me
but instead had cauterized my gaping wounds
With this glorious realization
I heard the exercised demons scream and howl
as they were carried away by the storms strong winds

Now like a Phoenix rising from those ashes
Feeling weightless as a diver about to
reach the surface
I am gloriously free
and ascending toward normalcy

The small, still voice inside me whispers
"Appreciate the lessons of the recent past
and thank the universe for it's wisdom"
As I reach for his extended hand and
he helps pull me from the water
I reply, "I do"

And stand as a fully awakened soul

16 comments:

Fletch said...

Touching, very touching...

Keep the Faith Babe :o)

Ciao Ciao

JB said...

Wonderfully stated!

Christopher said...

Hi,

I recognize in you a fellow traveler on a simular path with heart. :)

Wonderfuly expresive writing Sublime.

alan said...

I'm glad you are finding some peace now!

alan

"Angeldust" said...

You have wonderfully recounted the "road often traveled", yet seldom shared, admitted to...
Needed to read this (particularly)today.
Thank you for sharing raw.

(As there are no coincidences...)
I came to invite you to play "The Mystery Photo - What is it?" at my blog...
Hope you can make it...
Love and Blessings

dragonflyfilly said...

saw you on alan's blog and was curious...i LOVE your URL Photo! - did you draw it yourself? - i will come back and read your blog later...i am having a "sick" day, brain not working too well...

cheers for now,
pj

sttropezbutler said...

Sublime...
Have a great weekend.

It sounds like there is some great forward movement.

Terrific!

STB

Mind Sprite said...

Simply beautiful. Thank your sharing your heart journey.

Heidi said...

Yellow :)

nancy =) said...

my favorite song of all time (well, one of em, anyway) is u2's song "bad", but only the live version from wide awake in america...i've listened to it a gazillion times thru all of my awakenings...the song is actually about herion addiction, but really to me it's appropriate for many other situations...check it out...

good for you, woman...good for you...

peace...

Anne-Marie said...

What a lovely poem.

You are on a positive path, keep walking, my dear, it's only going to get better and better from here.

Take care,
AM

freddy said...

keep it up... loving this!!!

ian gordon said...

I like your words. And I hope it's all happening now as you say. Don't worry if there's the occasional step back as long as it followed two going forward.

Cheers.

Lea said...

Happy Mothers Day!!
(((hugs)))

gav25 said...

beautiful!

very happy for you sublime.

very happy =)

Gav

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