Somewhere in Oblivion wanders a girl that is positive she knew more things about life yesterday, then she does today. Read daily about her growing confidence in utterly painful detail.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Balancing the Beasts
Two nights ago, I dreamt of a huge balance scale in the middle of a field. I remember feeling relieved that someone had finally built it. I thought to myself that there's now something large enough to weigh the really big things.
At age 41, overcoming some of my biggest fears has granted me periods in my life of supreme respect for the grand plan of the universe. Unfortunately, I’ve learned I have the idiotic ability to forget some of the huge lessons. Luckily, my cosmic fortune cookie never seems to mind having to repeatedly tell me things until I get it! My favorite foods include Easy Cheese, shelled & salted peanuts, red-pepper hummus and pizza in any form. I’ve realized I never really quit smoking; I just stop for periods of time. I no longer cry over spilled milk. I recently figured out that I do so much better when I’m not going in ten directions at once. I’ve also been hit with the realization that I’m never, ever going to find happiness outside of myself – it has to come from within. The true meaning of this came to me during meditation, at which point, I literally gave MYSELF a hug. Finally, I know if tomorrow comes then more change is inevitable and embracing is easier than resisting it.