Wednesday, November 23, 2005
I am thankful every day for my son, my family and friends (including blogger friends) that have helped me through these difficult months. In the last year, I have come to realize how blessed I truly am. Sometimes the result of seemingly extraordinarily hard circumstances can be gratefulness. This lesson I've learned is one that I hope to never forget.
Last year around Thanksgiving I was severely depressed. On Thanksgiving day, Me and my partner got into some stupid argument (over something I can't recall) and I remember sitting in my basement, on a chair crying. I said, "Today's Thanksgiving and I have nothing to be thankful for.” Basically, I was having a big pity party for myself.
It had snowed a lot that day and in the afternoon I went out to warm up and clean off my car, because I had to go pick up my Grandma for dinner. I briefly came back in the house and five minutes later my son comes running into the kitchen asking if I already left. I said, "No, I'm right here, silly." Then he said, "Oh, I thought you left, because your car is gone." I looked out the window and he was right....my car WAS GONE! Someone must have seen me start it up and go back in the house, then decided to take off in it. I was in shock...getting your car stolen on Thanksgiving is not pleasant. It was the worst Thanksgiving ever. I ended up getting the car back, practically unharmed, a few days later. The moral of the story? Life took swift action in reminding me exactly how much I did have to be thankful for, and that things can get much worse.
I have never felt like a strong person until now. That day was the beginning of a year filled with many tests of my true strength. One of my toughest challenges has been realizing that I took my partner (and a few other people) mostly for granted. In the case of HER, I have paid the ultimate price. For the others, I will try to reach out and re-establish our bonds.
As I look back over this time, I've come to realize that not only am I strong, but I am also brave, deserving of the love others have for me and very, very thankful for all the things and people that I have in my life.
Hugs and kisses to everyone that reads this blog. You have all become like distant, extended family of sorts. Your own writings have inspired me, at times brought me to tears, and often made me laugh out loud.
I hope I can look back next year and find that I've had days filled more with love and laughter, than heartache. I wish each and every one of us a very happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.
PS - For all my GLBT friends, do you like the gay pride turkey I designed? Feel free to post him on your blog if you want! :)