It must be the heat

my knees went weak from
the anxiety
it was only 7 am
too early for this
i pleaded silently

now it's the evening
on days like this
at times like these
my head starts swimming
just plain tired

my thoughts attack themselves
declaring myself the winner
once again

does it end
will it end
should i be the one to end it

i listen for the voice
i want to hear it
maybe i keep myself from it
maybe there is no voice
but i'm betting there is
has to be
it's all i've got
to believe in

he said he doesn't hear it either
"maybe he doesn't love me"
he exclaims with tears in his eyes
i assure him that he does love him
and to keep listening

i'm trying to take my own advice