I awoke this morning to remember that tomorrow is Day Two.
"My panic level is already going through the roof." I said, while popping my first Xanex of the day.
Think of the worst day of your life, multiply it by two and then you can imagine what my fear of tomorrow is like. Until now, I've basically been counting down the days and just trying not to think about it. I should have written up this post yesterday, because right now I am so consumed with anxiety that isn't allowing me to think very clearly.
It is a necessary day that will allow me to move on to a new chapter in my life, for that I am grateful. But, it's the unknown, the stress and the chance of a negative outcome that's grabbing me by the neck.
I need arms around my shoulders, positive words whispered in my direction, and all the prayers anyone can offer for me for a good outcome tomorrow. Light a candle for me today, will ya?
If things go ok, I'll try to post tomorrow night.
About Me
- Sublime
- Oblivion, Midwest, United States
- At age 41, overcoming some of my biggest fears has granted me periods in my life of supreme respect for the grand plan of the universe. Unfortunately, I’ve learned I have the idiotic ability to forget some of the huge lessons. Luckily, my cosmic fortune cookie never seems to mind having to repeatedly tell me things until I get it! My favorite foods include Easy Cheese, shelled & salted peanuts, red-pepper hummus and pizza in any form. I’ve realized I never really quit smoking; I just stop for periods of time. I no longer cry over spilled milk. I recently figured out that I do so much better when I’m not going in ten directions at once. I’ve also been hit with the realization that I’m never, ever going to find happiness outside of myself – it has to come from within. The true meaning of this came to me during meditation, at which point, I literally gave MYSELF a hug. Finally, I know if tomorrow comes then more change is inevitable and embracing is easier than resisting it.
8 comments:
wherever you're going, i wish i could come to help you!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
What's going on, honey? Take a deep breath--you're going to get through it, whatever it is. You're smart and wonderful.
Big hug from CT.
Big hugs and all the positive energy in the world are being sent your way NOW. Hope it all goes well.
Angie
Positvie thoughts being sent your way tonight.
(((((HUGS)))))
No matter what tomorrow brings... I'll be thinking of you. Take care of you.
Just checking in to see if you are ok.
Let us know ok ?
We care.
are you okay?
peeking in to see if you are OK.
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