Every Sunday Post Secret puts up new postcards. Today I checked the blog just as I do every week. This was one of the new postings. Tears instantly began pouring down my cheeks.
Thursday my therapist asked me if I was "happy to be alive". I hesitated before answering. "Happy" is too strong a word for me to use right now. But, yesterday was my son's 9th birthday and I'm glad that I didn't miss it.
Thank you to all my fellow bloggers for the kind words and offers of support.
I owe another thank you to a person that saved my life that night. However, each time I think about saying it, I also feel equally just as angry.
*Repeat with me* Onward and upward...
About Me
- Sublime
- Oblivion, Midwest, United States
- At age 41, overcoming some of my biggest fears has granted me periods in my life of supreme respect for the grand plan of the universe. Unfortunately, I’ve learned I have the idiotic ability to forget some of the huge lessons. Luckily, my cosmic fortune cookie never seems to mind having to repeatedly tell me things until I get it! My favorite foods include Easy Cheese, shelled & salted peanuts, red-pepper hummus and pizza in any form. I’ve realized I never really quit smoking; I just stop for periods of time. I no longer cry over spilled milk. I recently figured out that I do so much better when I’m not going in ten directions at once. I’ve also been hit with the realization that I’m never, ever going to find happiness outside of myself – it has to come from within. The true meaning of this came to me during meditation, at which point, I literally gave MYSELF a hug. Finally, I know if tomorrow comes then more change is inevitable and embracing is easier than resisting it.
6 comments:
Seems to have been a problem with Blogger yesterday letting people post comments. Here are the ones I received yesterday for this entry-
From STB:
Posting here cause I couldn't on your new post!
Indeed my dear...keep it moist and keep it moving...
xxo...
STB
From Elizabeth Taylor:
I think your therapist asked you kind of a goofy question. Why would you be happy so soon? You have to still be reeling from the repercussions... Take it one day at a time, literally. That sounds trite, but when something this huge happens, that's all you can do. Soon enough you will be happy, but don't force it. You'll be fine...all of our positive energy being sent your direction has to go somewhere...
And don't do that again!!!!!
I too wasn't allowed to comment...
I am glad you were here for that birthday, and for the rest of us as well. Our world would be less without you!
Thinking of you!
alan
i, too, tried to comment here but couldn't...all i can say sublime is to keep on keepin on...one hour at a time...one day at a time...self care is key...take good care of you...and if you can't talk it out with someone then write it out...
we're with you, woman...
peace...
Onward and upward, my dear. Happy Belated Birthday to your son.
Happy belated birthday to J.
{{{{Sublime}}}}
I check that site every Sunday. I have more than a handful of secrets to send in but I keep thinking to myself "What if they don't get picked." Then I think, "What if they do?" -Jn
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