Thursday, May 20, 2004

Temp Insanity

I watched "21 Grams" last night for the first time, and for some reason it opened up some sort of temporary, spur of the moment, emotional vortex that sent me swirling into what turned out to be a very relieving bout of uncontrollable sobbing. I woke lilmtty up (who was asleep on the loveseat) and told her I needed to be held. She, or course, took me into her arms and sleepily begged to know what was wrong. With tears streaming down my face, I told her I was sorry for yelling at her earlier in the day, and that I loved her. Then I felt like I had to puke, which I promptly did upon arriving in the bathroom. When I emerged back into the living room she was asleep once more with Lola and Minnie curled up next to her. I felt totally better and like I'd just passed through a true moment of temporary insanity. I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in weeks.

BTW- I had a revealation today (I can't remember if it happened while I was awake or asleep), I realized it is much easier for me to be sexual with someone, rather than to be emotionally open with them. Sex comes easy, emotional trust takes me awhile... I wonder how that happened?

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