Once in awhile I like to put my poetry up for review... I'd completely forgot that I'd written this one for HER more than a year ago. I came across it today reading through some of my first posts on this blog. Since most people don't often read through the archives, I thought I'd re-post it for all the new readers. Like to know what people honestly think... is it ok, cheesy, or just plain bad?
_______________________________________________________
The Sun
is one thing I would
not want to be.
The Sun
will never consider
how your mouth
feels (meeting mine)
when I kiss you
alone in the dark.
It (naturally a being of lightness)
would never recognize
the beauty of holding you
(laying asleep)
during hours
of darkness.
Upon it
would be lost
the art and sanctity
of studying your face
in dim light.
The Sun
could not comprehend
feeling the aliveness
(so fiercely I wanted to weep)
of seeing
the meaning of life
(unfolding)
among your thighs
by candlelight.
Nor, will the Sun
ever dwell
in the knowledge of
how exquisite
moonlight tastes
shining freshly
on your skin.
To give up
every next day
under the sun
would be a small
price to pay
for living with you
beneath the moon.
-Sublime
About Me
- Sublime
- Oblivion, Midwest, United States
- At age 41, overcoming some of my biggest fears has granted me periods in my life of supreme respect for the grand plan of the universe. Unfortunately, I’ve learned I have the idiotic ability to forget some of the huge lessons. Luckily, my cosmic fortune cookie never seems to mind having to repeatedly tell me things until I get it! My favorite foods include Easy Cheese, shelled & salted peanuts, red-pepper hummus and pizza in any form. I’ve realized I never really quit smoking; I just stop for periods of time. I no longer cry over spilled milk. I recently figured out that I do so much better when I’m not going in ten directions at once. I’ve also been hit with the realization that I’m never, ever going to find happiness outside of myself – it has to come from within. The true meaning of this came to me during meditation, at which point, I literally gave MYSELF a hug. Finally, I know if tomorrow comes then more change is inevitable and embracing is easier than resisting it.
4 comments:
I like it and think it is good. I was never very good at the whole poetry thing, but it sounds like you have a knack for it.
Cheesy and bad are not words I would use to describe anything you write.
I love it! It's romantic and sexy.
Very e.e. cummings, I think. Just lovely, and I think it'll be lovely in ten years, too.
Excellent. Absolutely.
Definitely sexy, but more. I would have to say sensual.
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