Reduced

The task - simple. Given an envelope by my boss to drop off at another office for him. Fine - I was going to the post office anyway and the office is nearby. No big deal. I arrive at the building and walk in. No one at the front desk, ring the bell. *ding* She appears - secretary I presume. Walks into the lobby from a nearby open door. She is about my height (which isn't very tall), probably in her late 30's, maybe early 40's. Very nicely dressed, hair and makeup perfect. Glasses, from which she peers at me over the top of. A look of "What do you want?" on her face.

I said, pleasantly, "Hi! I'm here to drop this off for XXX."
Her - "Did you need to see XXX or just drop it off?"
Me - "Just drop it off."
Her - "I'll put it in their mailbox."

And as I stepped toward her to hand her the envelope, it happened. A total, quick, not so nice, ONCE OVER. I caught her eye as it came back up to my face. I smiled, still trying to be nice in the face of unpleasantness. I handed her the envelope and she turned to walk away.

I said, "You might want to actually give it to XXX instead of just putting it in the mailbox. After all, they might need it right away since I was sent over to drop it off."

She kinda shrugged and I see her stuff it into the mail slot. I leave. Infuriated with her attitude and the way she looked at me like I was shit on her shoe. Let's keep in mind, this is no high powered business office, no big shot high-rise office building, nothing like that. This is an "incubator" (for those of you that don't know what an incubator is, it's a building where the rent is usually subsidized and small business start-ups move in to try and grow their companies.) This particular incubator is in an old, broke down warehouse. Miss Priss is most likely paid by the State Small Business Association (funded in part by money from tax payers - like me for instance).

I get back to my car thinking about what a bitch she was, and how dare she, etc. Then I turn on myself - defensive. It's casual Friday, that's why I'm dressed this way, *insert other self-loathing comments here*, etc.

Then it occurred to me. I just let my peace of mind and my self-worth get reduced to a grain of salt by a simple look from an unhappy person. I have no one to be mad at but myself. I been working with ACIM lately as I've mentioned in other posts, and have started feeling a lot stronger emotionally, confident, and so on. This woman was just another lesson, pure and simple. A perfect illustration of how easily my resolve can be shaken. Not to say I'll never let it happen again, but maybe I will catch myself in the midst of it next time and send her a silent blessing instead of attack thoughts.

Every person you meet is there for a reason.